“I had the worst day.”
[[“Do not get me started, my day was terrible.”]]
“You think yours was bad? Please. You don’t know what a bad day is until you live through what I have lived through. You haven’t seen what I have seen.”
[[“I slept through all of my alarms, was late to school, forgot my backpack, didn’t have a lunch, got yelled at by that moody teacher, kicked out of class, and removed from the friend group because I wore the wrong color. I don’t need to see what you’ve seen to know my day was worse. Period.”]]
“Today I failed my chem test, econ test, and I was called to student services to be dress coded. My skin is breaking out. I can’t stop eating. I am beyond stressed. I have five assignments due tomorrow, none of which I know how to do.”
[[“I have six asssignments due tomorrow and I do not even know what they are. I am sick. I have been sick for six weeks. I am so tired and fatigued. I pray everyday a bus will hit me to put an end to my exhaustion. If you see me in the school parking lot, please run me over.”]]
“Please, your life isn’t even that hard. At least you have an excuse to stay home from school. I still have to go to school and see all those people I hate. While you’re at home “sick” just remember that I am getting bullied.”
[[“The reason why I was absent yesterday wasn’t because I was sick, it was because my beloved grandmother passed away. Stop trying to understand my pain.”]]
“Really? You think that is bad? My grandmother died this morning. She died alone. How do you think that makes me feel? I am sorry you had a relatively hard day, but I simply had a worse one.”

You’ve definitely heard one of these conversations: the battle of the bad day.
The battle of the bad day is a discussion that consists of one person working to persuade another person that their own problems are worse. These conversations can include, but are not limited to, who had a worse day, who is having a harder time, or who is more stressed.
While this seems pretty toxic, the battle of the bad day is very commonplace. Listen in at school, or at home, or with your friends and you may see these conversations are more common than you think. The focus on negative issues perpetuates a cycle of seeking out things to be unhappy about. In searching for the negative, it becomes easy to grow blind to the positive.
When someone brings up they have had a hard day, demonstrating an interest or engaging in the conversation in a way that does not minimize their problem can grow relationships. Explaining a bad day we’ve had in order to empathize and connect is more likely to make someone feel isolated or diminish their feelings.