In order to bond, grandparents and grandchildren spend time together, using vacations, holidays, sports and school activities as opportunities to create memorable moments with one another and strengthen their relationships.
A common obstacle that separates many grandparents from their grandchildren is location.
For Grandma Liz Bartelme, this is a challenge she is familiar with.
“We are a very close family,” Bartelme said, “even though there is some distance between us.”
Although they do not see each other regularly, Bartelme stays in contact with all eight of her grandchildren.
“Every Monday morning, I write a letter to a different grandkid,” Bartelme said. “This is my third year of it, and every eight weeks, my grandkids will get a letter in the mail from me.”
Bartelme feels that her letter writing plays a key role in the strength of her relationship with her grandkids, as well as the family Snapchat group chat that the Bartelme family has.
“There’s a lot of teasing that goes on,” Bartelme said.
Their in-person time together is filled with conversation.
“I try to be a teacher and a listener, not a lecturer,” Bartelme said.
Being talked down to is one of the issues that kids and teenagers face when speaking to authority figures or people older than them.
In comparison to Bartelme, Mema Cassie Balzer, whose kids live locally, is able to see her grandchildren in person often and does various activities with them.
“Recently, the boys have been very into caves,” Balzer said. “We’ve done Lost River Caverns and Crystal Cave.”
Since her grandkids are on the younger side, with the oldest being 8 years old, Balzer has opportunities to spend time with them weekly because they do not have “busy schedules yet.”
“I take [my grandkids] to the pool in the summer and to the putting green and driving range,” Balzer said. “The girls, who live a little further away, when they visit, they sleep over to make the most of our time together.”
One of the traditions Balzer has is taking her grandsons back-to-school shopping.
“I take the boys out for the day and we pick out their shoes for the school year,” Balzer said.
According to Nana Nancy Parke, she sees her grandchildren “quite often,” as their sports games allow her to spend time with them on the weekends.
“I take the whole family out to lunch in between games, or we go out afterward,” Parke said.
Since Parke used to help coach soccer, she and her grandkids talk about referee calls and how their athletic seasons are going.
“We’re very close,” Parke said. “We get together a lot over the holidays, too.”
Since one of Parke’s son is a pilot, finding time to spend with him alongside his children can be difficult.
“My son, the pilot, often is off from work last minute or invites us one a quick trip with him and his family without much prior notice,” Parke said. “That’s not a problem, but usually my husband and I aren’t able to join them because of plans we previously made.”
For granddaughter Caroline Hope, she attributes her sports to the reason why she meets with her grandparents “two or three times a month.”
“My grandmom and grandpop and nini sometimes watch me when my parents go away, too,” Hope said. “I like asking them for stories about my mom and dad when they were kids.”
Hope spends Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as the occasional vacation, with her grandparents.
“We used to do Keuka every summer when I was little,” Hope said, “but now we really only do birthdays and holidays.”
As per Grandpop Roger Hope, recently he has been seeing his grandchildren twice a month or so as they have gotten busier as they have gotten older.
“I always say life is a big apple. It’s up to you how big a bite you get,” Roger said. “More experiences, more opportunities are good, but take time to keep it in perspective and appreciate what you have.”
For Roger, he misses the family vacation they used to do every summer to Lake Keuka.
“I sorely miss Keuka. I think it was the first day we were up there, one of the kids was scratching at the window, and I woke up and I looked out,” Roger said, “and they were saying, ‘Grandpa, we’re not allowed to come in until you’re up.’ Everybody came in and we had a fun morning.”
Roger has no regrets.
“When you turn and look back, you can do it differently, definitely,” Roger said. “Maybe that’s the moment to say ‘What can I do about it?’”
According to Roger, his “line” is that “it’s all up to me.”
“My attitude determines my altitude,” Roger said.