“I don’t believe in rain.”

“I just peed my pants.”

“She likes men’s feet!”

“I have no issues with Patrick Dempsey!”

“My heart would be breaking if you didn’t go to homecoming with me because you are bad!”

Middle school bus driver: “I have someone who brought on a toddler shopping cart…is that allowed?”

“The need to do APUSH work vs. the want to play Minecraft.”

“Chief Keef gives me panic attacks.”

“I transferred to Quakertown last night. I’ve found my people.”

“A little stench shall never hurt anyone.”

“Stop screaming! It’s a bug, you coward!”

“Lana Del Rey is a religious icon to me.”

“I had a chocolate bar in my pocket this morning and it melted.”

“Can I come to your house tomorrow and get your ‘Squeakquel’ DVD to borrow?”

Field hockey player: “The only thing that could take us down is a team of cones.”

“I’m gonna bite my finger off like a carrot.”

“I think my dad broke my nail.”